Malfoys Dont Skip
by X. The Marauders .X
Summary: this is what happens when u give Prongs and Moony a laptop and tell them that they cant talk... you get a love-potioned hermione in love with snape, dumbledore hidding from minerva and draco skipping! i hope u love it, and reveiw us!


**Disclaimer: we do not own this. the amazing J.K Rowling does!!**

**ok, so this is pretty much what happens when Prongs and i get together dureing ADMIN and are not allowed to talk... in short: hilarity ensues.**

**ENJOY!!!**

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"SNAPY DEAREST!!!" Hermione called as she ran enthusiastically into the potions classroom.

Snape jumped. "What the-?"

Hermione ran into the class room and knocked Snape over with a big hug.

"Miss Granger, not to be rude at all, but what the hell are you doing?" said Snape, trying to get away.

"Now, now Snapy, darling, no need to be so distant, we both know that you love me!" Hermione exclaimed.

"All right,' said Snape, finally standing up and holding Hermione at arms length. "Who is responsible for this? Well?"

"Sorry Sir!" Harry called out, panting and entering the classroom, "She seems to have inhaled some love potion that had gone incredibly wrong!"

Snape ducked away from Hermione as she tried to hug him again. "Why was she even near love potion in the first place? And who made it? You know you have to say a persons name over it for it to work. I don't know who…?"

"Well Sir, Lavender was trying to get 'Ronniekins' back, but you know what a bad potions student she is… anyways… I think that's what happened…" Harry explained.

"Snapy! Come give me a hug!" Hermione cried, sitting in the corner and trying to look pathetic.

Snape looked at Harry. "What am I meant to do now?" He asked, staring at Hermione, looking scared.

"Don't go over there." Warned Harry. "You don't even want to know what she was planning on the way here."

Snape paled. "I think I can guess…"

"Well Sir, lets just say that it has something to do with you, her, a broom cupboard and an engorgement charm…" Harry said.

Snape went red. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were enjoying this, Potter."

Harry turned nearly as red as 'Snapy' "Well Sir, I find it rather… erm… amusing I suppose…"

The door flung open at that point and none other than the Slytherin sex god himself walked in, "Godfather I - … Potter! What are you doing here? Detention again? And why is the mudblood pretending to cry in the corner?" He looked perplexed.

"Potter is not on detention, he is helping me sort out Miss Granger, who has run afoul of a badly mixed love potion."

"Targeting who?"

Snape blushed again. "…Me, as it seems. Would you and Mr Potter be so good as to restrain her while I fix an antidote?"

"Very well."

Harry and Malfoy both moved over to where Hermione was still pretending to be crying. "Come now Hermione, lets move over here and you can watch the Professor at work." Harry said, adopting a tone that one might use with an overemotional two year old.

"No! I want Snapy to come to me!" She screamed, bitting Malfoy on the arm.

Malfoy cursed, "Screw this!" He yelled, and "Just for that there is no way I'm helping the mudblood! I'm just a spectator from now on!"

"Get back over there Malfoy!' shouted Snape, already at work on the antidote. 'You will help Hermione, or else. And if I hear you say that disgusting word again, you will have detention with me for the rest of your time here! You don't have to hold her, just make sure she stays put."

"Fine…" Malfoy conceded grumpily. He whipped out his wand, "Petrificus totalise!" He cast the spell at Hermione.

Hermione froze for a second, and then blinked. Malfoy looked confused. "She's been able to throw off that charm for years, dunderhead!" Harry said, doing quite a good impression of Professor Snape on his worst days.

Snape smacked Malfoy upside the head as he pushed past with the antidote.

"Now, Hermione." He said, using a gentle, almost loving tone that neither Harry nor Malfoy had ever heard. Hermione looked at him. She tried to hug him, but he leant back. "You want a hug?" he asked. She nodded. "Alright then, well, I promise that if you drink this potion like a sweet girl, I'll give you a hug."

Harry gaped at him, but Malfoy prodded him on the arm and pointed to where Snape had his fingers crossed.

Hermione grabbed the potion off Snape and drank it down. "Still want a hug, Miss Granger?" Snape asked.

"Not to be rude, Professor, but wouldn't that be mightly unprofessional of you?" Hermione said, licking her lips. "Of course, if you really do feel that down, I suppose it would be ok, but it is banned under the Magical Education Laws, under the Professor/Student Relationship Act."

Snape rolled his eyes. "You don't remember anything, do you?"

"No."

"You drank a bad love potion and…well it worked, unfortunately"

"Oh." Hermione blushed redder than either Snape or Harry. Snape patted her shoulder and stood up. "Come on, you three, out."

They were halfway to the door when Dumbledore burst in. "Severus, may I hide here for a while, I think someone spiked Minerva's drink?"

Snape glanced at the others, who were all laughing. Straight faced as ever, he nodded.

As Hermione and Harry left for the Gryffindor Tower, No one noticed the smug smirk on Draco Malfoy's face as he almost skipped back to the Slytherin Dormitories, before, of course, reminding himself that Malfoy's. Don't. Skip.

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**haha... well yeah... blame whoever made up the stupid rule that we cant talk in class? whoever it was, THEY GOT JIBBED!!! ok, over it.**

**if u found this funny, stupid, crazy, or utterly retarded. plz. drop us a line! REVEIW US!!**

**Moony (per Prongs) out.**


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